Today I took a Temple University bus, and then the bus leaved at 1:45 p.m. So I arived in One Liberty Place Observation Deck It's very near to City Hall. At 3:50 p.m I finished looking around in there. I ate 8ct meal-nugget, also I drank a small size peach milkshake in a Chick-fil-A for snack. And I shopped in L.O.F.T. I bought a purple color blouse, bright blue T-shirt and and H&M. Finally I walked to my monotory. It was bery tired to me, also I used to be walk in a Center City.
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Corrections:
Translate
Title: 영어 일기쓰기 1
Better: My diary
→ AC WF
Previous Sentence: Today I took a Temple University bus, and then the bus leaved at 1:45 p.m.
Better Sentence: Today, I took a Temple University bus and then the bus left at 1:45 p.m.
WF WSP WF WF A
Previous Sentence: So I arived in One Liberty Place Observation Deck It's very near to City Hall.
Better Sentence: We arrived at One Liberty Place Observation Deck which is very near to the City Hall.
Rephrase
Previous Sentence: At 3:50 p.m I finished looking around in there.
Better Sentence: I finished sightseeing at 3:50 pm.
Previous Sentence: I ate 8ct meal-nugget, also I drank a small size peach milkshake in a Chick-fil-A for snack.
Better Sentence: I had an 8ct nugget meal and a small - sized peach milkshake in Chick – fil – A for a snack.
WF C ∽ C A
Previous Sentence: And I shopped in L.O.F.T. I bought a purple color blouse, bright blue T-shirt and and H&M. Better Sentence: After that I shopped for purple blouse and a bright blue T-shirt at L.O.F.T. and H&M.
AC WF WF
Previous Sentence: Finally I walked to my monotory.
Better Sentence: Finally I went back to my dormitory.
WSP WF WF WF V ADJ
Previous Sentence: It was bery tired to me, also I used to be walk in a Center City.
Better Sentence: It was very tiring for me, though I’m getting used to walking in Center City.
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Revised Writing:
Today, I took a Temple University bus and then the bus left at 1:45 pm. We arrived at One Liberty Place Observation Deck which is very near to the City Hall. I finished sightseeing at 3:50 pm. I had an 8ct nugget meal and a small - sized peach milkshake in Chick – fil – A for a snack. After that I shopped for purple blouse and a bright blue T-shirt at L.O.F.T. and H&M. Finally, I went back to my dormitory. It was very tiring for me, though I’m getting used to walking in Center City.
Teachers Note:
Some of your sentences are really hard to understand so I had to rephrase it based on what I understand:
- At 3:50 p.m I finished looking around in there.
- I ate 8ct meal-nugget, also I drank a small size peach milkshake in a Chick-fil-A for snack.
Based on what I understand this is what I came up with:
- I finished sightseeing at 3:50 pm
- I had an 8ct nugget meal and a small - sized peach milkshake in Chick – fil – A for a snack.
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LEGEND:
Red Remove/omit
SF Sentence Fragment
Lower Change the letter(s) to small letter(s)
Change the letter(s) to big letter(s)
FR Wrong word order
→ Indent the sentence.
NR No error/mistake
WB Wrong abbreviation
↗ Start a new paragraph
# Space needed
× Remove a space
∽ Transpose (change the position of the word)
WSP Wrong spelling
AP Add a period (.)
AC Add a comma (,)
AE Add an exclamation point (!)
AQM Add a question mark (?)
AAP Add an apostrophe (‘)
PL Change to Plural form
WF Wrong word form
WW Wrong word
WPU Wrong pronoun usage
RO Run-on (Fused Sentence)
S Subject Needed
V Verb needed
P Preposition needed
C Conjunction needed
A Article needed
PRON Add Pronoun
ADV Add Adverb
AN Add Noun
MP Misused Preposition
// Faulty Parallelism
Edited by: Victor
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