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교육시스템

제 목	Tired day
교정강사	glenda1
등록일	2022-01-23
작성글	Today, I went to city hall for recieve passport. I renew it because my old passport's effective life finished. I applied for the passport on last friday. After that, I went to department store with my friend for buying a pants. At the store, I saw a coat and wore it. It was fine coat but little expensive. I can't tell my mom because I already bought a shoes and it costs almost 200,000won. I'll ask her to buy that coat instead return the shoes. Of course she won't but maybe I can persuade her. And I went to health club. My trainer trained me very hard today. I should go to bed now.
교정내용	Legend: Red fon = Remove/omit the red colored part. → = Indent the sentence. Lower case = Change the letter(s) to small letter(s). UC = Change the letter(s) to big letter(s). NR = No error/mistake WB = Wrong abbreviation WS = Wrong Spelling AP = Add punctuation marks FR = For revision ↗ = Start a new paragraph # = Add a space × = Remove a space ∽ = Transpose (change the position of the word) SF = Sentence Fragment AW = Add a word (noun/pronoun/preposition/verb) MP = Misused preposition. Corrections: Tired Day 'A Tiring Day' NOTE: Because 'day' is not a person to experience or feel 'tired' and that writer's intention was to describe the day, the word tiring is more suitable to use. Sentence Fragment Today, I went to city hall for recieve passport. Today, I went to city hall to claim my renewed passport. I renew it because my old passport's effective life finished. I had to renew it because my old passport has expired. MP I applied for the passport on last friday. I applied for a passport renewal last friday. After that, I went to department store with my friend for buying a pants. After that, I went to the department store with my friend to buy pants. NOTE: 1. The word department needs a noun determiner 'the'. 2. 'For buying a pants' - since the writer's intention was to show purpose for going to the department store, the best expression to use is "to buy". 3. 'Pants' is in the plural form; therefore, the article 'a' is not necessary. At the store, I saw a coat and wore it. At the store, I saw a coat and tried it on. NOTE: We use tried (it) on because the coat is not yet purchased but only worn to be check if it's fit to be worn by the buyer. It was fine coat but little expensive. It was fine but a little expensive. NOTE: Coat doesn't need to be added as the pronoun 'it' is already used. I can't tell my mom because I already bought a shoes and it costs almost 200,000won. I hesitated to tell it to my mom because I felt it too much to ask. She had already bought me a pair of shoes which worth almost 200, 000 Won. I'll ask her to buy that coat instead return the shoes. Suggested sentences: I am planning to ask her to return the shoes and buy the coat instead. I would ask her to return the shoes and buy the coat instead. Of course she won't but maybe I can persuade her. She might not agree but I will try my best to persuade her to buy it. And I went to health club. My trainer trained me very hard today. I should go to bed now. After that, I went to the Health Club, a fitness center and had a difficult training with my trainer. I felt very tired because of this which made me decide to rest and go to bed now.