STUDENT'S WRITING:

im in korea Army for over two years. it was bring me mental and physical exertion. I meet many people who have a various character  from all age groups. but they have something in common. Man or women they have a strong personality .  it was giving me a terrible days in army. because i  have a gentle personality and i can't say strong language to the other person. this is the most hard thing to me during my long military career. but the only thing i can learn in army is malice toward something or somepeople. 

Malice toward someone is a very tired. but i think it is necessary to llive our life. so I do not regret volunteer for military service. 

LEGEND:

Red                              Remove/omit

SF                               Sentence Fragment 

Lower                         Change the letter(s) to small letter(s)

                                    Change the letter(s) to big letter(s)

FR                               Wrong word order

→                                Indent the sentence.  

NR                              No error/mistake

WB                              Wrong abbreviation

↗                                 Start a new paragraph

#                                  Space needed

×​                                  Remove a space​

∽​                                Transpose (change the position of the word) 

WSP                           Wrong spelling

AP                               Add a period (.)

AC                              Add a comma (,)

AE                               Add an exclamation point (!)

AQM                           Add a question mark (?)

AAP                            Add an apostrophe (‘)

PL                               Change to Plural form

WF                              Wrong word form

WW                             Wrong word

WPU                           Wrong pronoun usage

RO                              Run-on (Fused Sentence)

S                                 Subject Needed

V                                 Verb needed

P                                 Preposition needed

C                                 Conjunction needed

A                                 Article needed

PRON                            Add Pronoun

ADV                            Add Adverb

AN                            Add Noun

MP                              Misused Preposition

//                                  Faulty Parallelism

CORRECTIONS:

im in korea(n) Army for over two years.

- I have been in Korean Army for over two years.

       WF

it was bring me mental and physical exertion. 

- It brought me mental and physical exertion.

     WF ​                                                                       PL                                                                          PRON 

I meet(met) many people who have a various character(s) from all age groups. but they (all) have something in common. 

-I met many people who have various characters  from all age groups but they all have something in common. ​

   C        WW                                                               PL                             

(Both) Man (men) or women they have a strong personality (personalities).  

 -Both men or women have strong personalities.

                                                                     A                                                                                                          WF

it was giving me a (lot of) terrible days in (the) army. because i  have a gentle personality and i can't (couldn't) say strong language to the other person. 

-It was giving me a lot of terrible days in the army because I  have a gentle personality and I couldn't say strong language to the other person. 

                      WF                                        MP

this is the most hard (hardest) thing to (for)me during my long military career. 

- It is the hardest thing for me during my long military career.

           C                                                   WF                                            A                            V                       

but​ (​However,) the only thing i can (have) learn(ed) in (the) army is (having) malice toward(s) something or some#people. 

- However, the only thing I have learned in the army is having malice towards something or some people.

                                                         WF                                                                                WSP

Malice toward(s) someone is a very tired. (tiring) but i think it is necessary to llive (live) our life. so I do not regret volunteer(ing) for military service. ​ 

 - Malice towards someone is very tiring but I think it is necessary to live our life so I do not regret volunteering for military service.

 REVISED WRITING:

I have been in Korean Army for over two years.​  It brought me mental and physical exertion.​ I met many people who have various characters from all age groups but they all have something in common. ​​Both men or women have strong personalities. It was giving me a lot of terrible days in the army because I have a gentle personality and I couldn't say strong language to the other person. ​It is the hardest thing for me during my long military career.​

However, the only thing I have learned in the army is having malice towards something or some people.​ Malice towards someone is very tiring but I think it is necessary to live our life so I do not regret volunteering for military service.

EDITED BY TEACHER EARTHA ^-^