Bsedu- 개인 맞춤형 원어민 화상 과외

교육시스템

제 목	6
교정강사	glenda1
등록일	2022-06-28
작성글	Let me introduce my family members. There are 4 members in my family including mom, dad, my older rother, and me. First, let me introduce my father. My father is working at security company. he was a member of 'secom'. when he work there, my family members quite hard to meet him. becuse there are so many work to do. but now my father work comfotable more Secondly, My mother is a house housewife. She is very clever. But when she get angry, she is really scary. she have been stayed at Melbourne about 2 month alone. i really envy her life. she enjoyed her own life. i really want to keep old look like her. Lastly, my older brother working in seoul city. he have a vanity. he is free with he´s money. he didnt give his money to us. but he help us to good manner.
교정내용	STUDENTS WRITING: Let me introduce my family members. There are 4 members in my family including mom, dad, my older rother, and me. First, let me introduce my father. My father is working at security company. he was a member of 'secom'. when he work there, my family members quite hard to meet him. becuse there are so many work to do. but now my father work comfotable more Secondly, My mother is a house housewife. She is very clever. But when she get angry, she is really scary. she have been stayed at Melbourne about 2 month alone. i really envy her life. she enjoyed her own life. i really want to keep old look like her. Lastly, my older brother working in seoul city. he have a vanity. he is free with he´s money. he didnt give his money to us. but he help us to good manner. _______________________ CORRECTIONS: NR Previous sentence: Let me introduce my family members. Correct Sentence: Let me introduce my family members. WW Previous sentence: There are 4 members in my family including mom, dad, my older rother, and me. Correct Sentence: There are 4 members in my family including mom, dad, my older brother, and me NR Previous sentence: First, let me introduce my father. My father is working at security company. Correct Sentence: First, let me introduce my father. My father is working at Security Company. Previous sentence: he was a member of 'secom'. Correct Sentence: He was a member of 'secom'. WSP WSP WF Previous sentence:when he work there, my family members quite hard to meet him. becuse there are so many work to do. but now my father work comfotable more Correct Sentence: When he is working there, my family members quite hard to meet him because there are so many work to do. But now my father work more comfortable. NR Previous sentence: Secondly, My mother is a house housewife. She is very clever. Correct Sentence: Secondly, My mother is a house housewife. She is very clever. Previous sentence: But when she get angry, she is really scary. she have been stayed at Melbourne about 2 month alone. Correct Sentence: But when she get angry, she is really scary. She stayed at Melbourne about 2 month alone. Previous sentence: i really envy her life. she enjoyed her own life. i really want to keep old look like her. Correct Sentence: I really envy her life. She enjoyed her own life. I really want to like her when I get old. V Previous sentence: Lastly, my older brother working in seoul city. he have a vanity. he is free with he´s money. Correct Sentence: Lastly, my older brother is working in Seoul City. He has a vanity. He is free to use he´s own money. AAP Previous sentence: he didnt give his money to us. but he help us to good manner. Correct Sentence: He didn't give his money to us. but he help us to good manner. ____________________ REVISED WRITING: Let me introduce my family members.There are 4 members in my family including mom, dad, my older brother, and me.First, let me introduce my father. My father is working at security company.He was a member of 'secom'. When he is working there, my family members quite hard to meet him because there are so many work to do. But now my father work more comfortable.Secondly, My mother is a house housewife. She is very clever. But when she get angry, she is really scary. She stayed at Melbourne about 2 month alone.I really envy her life. She enjoyed her own life. I really want to like her when I get old.Lastly, my older brother is working in Seoul City. He has a vanity. He is free to use he´s own money.He didn't give his money to us. but he help us to good manner. ____________________ Legend: = Remove/omit the red colored part. = Sentence Fragment = Change the letter(s) to small letter(s). = Change the letter(s) to big letter(s). = Wrong word order → = Indent the sentence. NR = No error/mistake WB = Wrong abbreviation ↗ = Start a new paragraph # = Space needed × = Remove a space ∽ = Transpose (change the position of the word) WSP = Wrong spelling AP = Add a period (.) AC = Add a comma (,) AE = Add an exclamation point (!) AQM = Add an question Mark (?) AAP = Add an apostrophe (‘) OP = Open a parenthesis [(] CP = Close a parenthesis [)] SL = Change to Singular form PL = Change to Plural form WF = Wrong word form WW = Wrong word WPU = Wrong pronoun usage N = Noun needed PR =Pronoun needed RO = Run-on (Fused Sentence) S = Subject Needed V = Verb needed AV = Adverb needed AD =Adjective needed P = Preposition needed C = Conjunction needed A = Article needed MP = Misused Preposition // = Faulty Parallelism Edited by Quenny